To My Ex-Wife

Years have changed nothing between us.
I still love the woman I met.
I still hate the woman I left.
I remember the good, I remember the bad.
You star throughout in both of them,
A celebrity with an audience of one
Whom you have lost forever.

The truth is out there, but it doesn't matter.
I won't argue the point nor ask you out again.
I only want you to know that your greatest fan
Is now your greatest adversary by far.
I can tell the world of your tragic flaw:
Your cooking.

If I survived that, I may well live forever.

Copyright © 2004

Note: I wrote this poem as a joke and submitted it to the International Library of Poetry's Open Poetry Contest for 2004 -- and it won the Editor's Choice Award for 2005!