Beware of False Friends

From the moment a person becomes homeless, trusting others becomes extremely difficult to do. The vulnerability of being homeless leaves a person in a state of constant distrust of everything and everybody. Whenever assistance is offered, it has to be accepted with a certain amount of hesitation. Sometimes the assistance is not really assistance but a trap or perhaps a sick joke meant to humiliate the homeless even further, something that happens often enough. Other times the assistance comes with conditions that are more than suspect. Still other times the assistance is so ill directed as to do more harm than good. It is for that reason that the homeless have to be on guard all the time against false friends, as they seem to be everywhere.

It is not inaccurate to say that true friendships are a rarity in the homeless world. Friendships require a certain level of security in order to thrive, and that security is conspicuously absent among the homeless. When people are fighting for their very survival, friendships are often a commodity that is unaffordable, one that gets discarded when needs become too great. False friendships, on the other hand, are a dime a dozen in any society. It is only that among the homeless, desperation often makes these false friendships look very attractive, too attractive for comfort.

These friendships may manifest themselves in the form of persons who are willing to offer help in exchange for sexual favors or for the social benefits a homeless person may receive. Food and drink may be offered that are laced with drugs, poison, or other substances intended to cause harm. All these bogus do-gooders manage to do these nefarious deeds without getting caught; were anyone to try to file a police report, it would be one homeless person’s word against the word of someone who was allegedly trying to do a kindness, and who would be believed in the end?

Organized charities themselves are sometimes less than blameless in terms of the way they administer their help. Charities are, after all, organizations run by human beings with human failings; it is quite possible for a group to do wrong just as one person would do wrong. The homeless cannot necessarily let their guard down just because a charitable organization sponsors assistance.

Before you accept help from someone, stop and consider the implications of your actions. Trusting the occasional Good Samaritan who comes along has considerable risks that cannot be ignored. Is the person truly to be trusted or is the person just another false friend? The risk is entirely yours; you have been duly warned.

Yes, my words sound very cynical. Cynicism goes with the territory once a person becomes homeless. Altruism is a word in a dictionary that has no practical meaning when it comes to homelessness. Referring to the proverb that says that a pessimist is an optimist with experience, I can state that bitterest experience has taught me that when it comes to friendships among the homeless, more often than most, alliances prove to be too costly to sustain for very long.