"Don't You Have Family?"
A monitor who worked with me in Arts and Education had taken a vacation during the Christmas holiday to visit his parents in North Carolina. During that visit, a number of unforeseen incidents took place that prolonged his visit beyond the time that he expected to be absent from the shelter. When he returned, he discovered that he had lost his bed. He accepted the fact and sought alternative shelter. He then called his family again to tell them what had happened. His parents offered to him to come back home to live. The ending was that he lost his bed but ceased to be homeless as a result.
The monitor commented to me about the situation, “There’s no way that I can feel like a man to be in my thirties and be living with my parents.” I could only wonder how living as a homeless man in a shelter could make him feel like more of a man. I know he had some ideological differences with his parents, and no doubt those differences will be felt as he lives under their roof on a day-to-day basis. However, as he related, time had passed and his parents had reached the point that they missed him, so perhaps these problems will not be so pronounced. Only time will tell.
Not all of us are so fortunate to have families that will help us out. My family made it very clear to me that coming home to live was “not an option,’ and there was no room for further discussion. Of course, this revelation came as no surprise to me; after all, when my brother was dying, he was also turned away, so it only stood to reason that I would be as well when I wasn’t.
Too often I have heard people ask the question, “Don’t you have family?” Family is not always a magical solution for all problems. It would be nice if families did indeed look out after their own family members, but there is neither guarantee nor law that ensures that such will be the case. There are also cases in which families are unable to be of help even when the good will is present, so the end result is the same. Often enough family ties are not what can save a person from homelessness, so the argument that families and private charities alone can end the problem falls flat.
In the case of the monitor, he found his solution, at least for now, and I certainly wish him all the best. His family was willing and able to end his homelessness for him, and it is a true ending, not a mere doubling up in someone’s home in which he would have to sleep on a sofa or the like and then to wander the streets during the day wondering how long he would be able to survive in a makeshift arrangement. Just how often does anyone hear stories that end well like this one? It certainly raises a lot of questions about the so-called family values that one hears being trumpeted all over the nation when a story like this one has to be regarded as an exception and not the rule. Then again, the very fact of homelessness also poses a lot of difficult questions, most of which continue to go unanswered. The monitor found his way out of an existence plagued with so many questions; he is indeed most fortunate in that, and he has his family to thank for it. I hope it works out for him.
The monitor commented to me about the situation, “There’s no way that I can feel like a man to be in my thirties and be living with my parents.” I could only wonder how living as a homeless man in a shelter could make him feel like more of a man. I know he had some ideological differences with his parents, and no doubt those differences will be felt as he lives under their roof on a day-to-day basis. However, as he related, time had passed and his parents had reached the point that they missed him, so perhaps these problems will not be so pronounced. Only time will tell.
Not all of us are so fortunate to have families that will help us out. My family made it very clear to me that coming home to live was “not an option,’ and there was no room for further discussion. Of course, this revelation came as no surprise to me; after all, when my brother was dying, he was also turned away, so it only stood to reason that I would be as well when I wasn’t.
Too often I have heard people ask the question, “Don’t you have family?” Family is not always a magical solution for all problems. It would be nice if families did indeed look out after their own family members, but there is neither guarantee nor law that ensures that such will be the case. There are also cases in which families are unable to be of help even when the good will is present, so the end result is the same. Often enough family ties are not what can save a person from homelessness, so the argument that families and private charities alone can end the problem falls flat.
In the case of the monitor, he found his solution, at least for now, and I certainly wish him all the best. His family was willing and able to end his homelessness for him, and it is a true ending, not a mere doubling up in someone’s home in which he would have to sleep on a sofa or the like and then to wander the streets during the day wondering how long he would be able to survive in a makeshift arrangement. Just how often does anyone hear stories that end well like this one? It certainly raises a lot of questions about the so-called family values that one hears being trumpeted all over the nation when a story like this one has to be regarded as an exception and not the rule. Then again, the very fact of homelessness also poses a lot of difficult questions, most of which continue to go unanswered. The monitor found his way out of an existence plagued with so many questions; he is indeed most fortunate in that, and he has his family to thank for it. I hope it works out for him.
posted by MasterWriter at 1:19 p.m.
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